i'm not angry - you're just thick

chris (to printer):
mutter...come on you crappy thing. your mother was telex.

printer (cheerfully): chunter chunter printy noise printy noise collate collate

user (getting up and walking over at least 3 km from far side of the office):
is this printer not working?

chris (to user):
why? can't you print to it?

user (with expression that suggests his poor brain might just explode from the pressure of all this conversation):
i don't know.

chris (with impressively straight face):
have you tried printing to it?

user (he's going to cry soon i can tell):
no.

chris (who can see where this is going and is slowly reaching for a LART):
so why do you think you can't print to it?

user (picking up on the "if you're being as dumb as i think you are i am going to be mildly withering" vibes, meekly, and with annoying AQI.):
because you're standing here?

chris (admirably holding back the images of violence and office-based slaughter):
i am doing some printing.

grrr. twitch. grrrr